


You Were Never Mine

by Mukkie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angel Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moon, More Hurt Than Comfort, POV First Person, Soft Iwaizumi Hajime, iwaoi - Freeform, tooru belongs to the moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:36:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mukkie/pseuds/Mukkie
Summary: I. "He belongs to the Moon... he was never mine. I love him anyway."
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 6





	1. My Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I have finally decided to move all of my drabbles from old websites to here. Some editing is happening, changing of character names, but I still hope you enjoy them!
> 
> ps. This was written 8 years ago, so have mercy  
> ps2. I have these all written in First Person POV and I hate myself for it, but I like them this way and I can't make myself rewrite them. Oh well, I hope when I get to re-read my long stories, they won't be 1st person pov.

Now I understand why he said It was beautiful. I understand what he felt before when he looked at It; what his feelings were then, how strong they were. Now I knew why when he looked at It, he looked as if he’s sinking into Its' world and forgot about all the things around him.  
  
I looked at It... It was really beautiful. The radiance that flowed from It conquer my every thought. Its' silvery light - blurring any sense.  
  
And now I was sure that I look like him in those days of weakness. Surely I have the same creepy expression and scary eyes.  
  
I wonder if It will give me permission to look into my memories; a moment to come back to him... at that moment. The last time when my beautiful angel was with me.

_******************  
  
** _

"Tell me... Is there something bothering you?" I asked him, look at his face.  
  
His gentle features were calm, his lips - slightly open and his eyes were so empty. His warm breath mingled with the night air.  
  
For a moment I thought I saw a faint silhouette of wings on his back; Lord, he is an angel.  
  
He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and just shook his head slightly. Then he looked up again.  
  
I wanted to reach my hand and caress the white feathers. For a few weeks now he would not stop staring at the Moon as if It solved all his problems.

I also looked at It. Honestly, I didn’t see anything special. Just a silver circle in the sky. There was nothing unusual, incredible, or even magical that would make someone be so attracted to It.  
  
But he was. He didn’t stop looking at It with that calm face, sometimes even looking scary… and those intimidating empty eyes. Maybe that was Its strength - to call angels, to invite them with It’s beautiful to It.

"I don’t understand." I continued and this time he turned entirely to me, watching me curiously. "I don’t understand what you see in the Moon. I don’t understand why you watch It constantly and don’t talk to me anymore." I continued now looking into his eyes. Strange... Gap still fills up the majority of them, but now there was something else. Something that resembles hope, longing.

"Because It's beautiful." Ah, the gentle melody that I had not heard for so long. Now it was my turn to be curious.  
  
"Beautiful?"  
  
I saw a slight tilt of his head sideways and a smile crept on his lips. He didn’t answer me.  
  
He walked away from the window and sat on the couch. I followed him and sat beside him, my hands pulling him close to me. He didn’t even respond to my touch, just letting me do whatever I want. I did not like it, I wanted to feel his warmth, I wanted him to embrace me with his lovely wings. I wanted my angel to be mine again.  
  
I really do not understand what this is all about. Every day we are growing more and more distant... And it hurts me.  
  
"What’s wrong, Iwa-chan?" He asked me suddenly.  
  
He studied my face with his chocolate eyes, burning my skin. Once again I looked deep into them; angels have terrible eyes.  
  
Hurt was everything I found in them now. The desire from before had disappeared without leaving any traces behind. So I stood, staring into his eyes for several minutes, and then turned to stare at the wall in front of me.  
  
He moved into my arms and turned his body against mine, but I still didn’t want to look at him. I was afraid to plunge again into this emptiness. I was afraid that if I did, this time I’ll find the truth. 

He leaned his head on my chest and I felt his breath through my shirt. I pulled him closer to myself and buried my face in his hair, inhaling his scent – he smelled of sadness.  
  
Slowly I pulled away from him and stood up. I could not stand not to feel his body, but the range of emotions when we were close to each other was overwhelming.  
  
"You’re sad, Tooru," I told him when I felt him grabbing my hand. I wonder if his wings are as soft as his skin?  
  
I stood at the window and looked up again. I could not understand.  
  
I looked around the sky. It looked like an artist's canvas covered with a dark grayish-blue, spotted above with light paint droplets forming stars, and a large silver circle.  
  
It was really beautiful to watch all this, but the Moon itself was not so lovely. The beautiful color of the sky and the small bright dots around It were all that make It look majestic, but... nothing more.  
  
I wondered if these bright dots that people so fondly called 'stars' are not actually the bright white wings of angels.  
  
I felt two hands wrapping around my waist.  
  
"I'm not sad." His lips were on my neck, caressing my skin; I shuddered. "I am happy Iwa-chan." And he said it with such conviction that for a moment had me doubting myself, making me think I'm going crazy.  
  
Slowly I turned to him and dared to look into his eyes, but still not allowing myself to succumb, to lose myself in them.  
  
"Tell me-" I started but was cut off by his lips. Soft kisses showing emotions that his eyes hid from me.  
  
"Yes. You will." He muttered between several kisses.  
  


_******************  
  
** _

I smiled weakly at the Moon. I was happy that I remembered that night, the last night.

I still remember how in the morning he was gone, but somehow I was not worried. I wasn’t sad that he's gone. I knew this would happen one day but I did not want to accept it would be so soon.  
  
Still, I knew that my angel will be taken from me.  
  
That same evening, the truth was engraved in my mind as the gentle moonlight flowed into the dark sky.  
  
I knew where he is and knew that he won’t be able to return. I knew then that he was with me thanks to It... and again it was Its fault that he’s gone.  
  
But I could not do anything, I realized that he was always Hers, he never belonged to me. My special person, my Tooru. My favorite angel with the most beautiful wings.

I knew that that night's kisses were his last words, and touches - the last "I love you."  
  
Still gazing at the Moon, I remembered the question that then he devoured with kisses.  
  
“I’ll lose my angel, right?"


	2. My human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I finally updated this. That's the end of it, sorry xD
> 
> At the end of this, you will find a poem that I wrote, which was the inspiration for this. I originally wrote it in my native language - Bulgarian, however, I just translated it in English, so I hope you enjoy it.

  
I always wondered what it’s like to be human. What makes humans do... all the things they do. Does someone tell them what to do or they just do whatever they want? I've always been interested. 

And one day as I looked down and watched the humans, I saw him. Strangely, when I looked at him something in me came alive. I watched him for a few nights; every time when we appeared, he sat there watching us. I wondered if he was able to see me.

And then, in this fateful night, he said: "I want to have an angel by my side. Only mine. To love me. " 

I felt something in my chest and within seconds I realized that it was a heart. I had a heart and it was beating for him, my beloved person. I looked at the Moon and blinked. It softly whispers to me: "Go." And without waiting for a second call, I flung out my wings and went to Earth.  
  


When I arrived there, I was blinded by the brightness of the world. It was a day, I assumed. I've never seen a day. When the sun illuminated the Earth, I usually ended up closing my eyes. It was too bright and our eyes couldn't bear it. The only bright thing that could be seen in the sky was our wings, which people called clouds.   
  
Strange, really. People think in a very strange way.  
  
I was wandering around until night came. Then I easily found the house of my loved one. Spreading my wings, I went to the terrace and found him sitting on the couch watching TV. 

"Uhm..." I muttered sheepishly and was surprised to hear my voice. My voice, I could speak! I could not believe that such a sweet and gentle sound comes out of me.

That night, after he overcame the shock and I told him everything, I became his. I could not believe I've never tried this, it was so nice. These feelings were completely new to me. But I liked it, I liked the way his skin rubbed with mine, the way his lips painted on my body. I love the way it feels when he’s inside me, bliss. Both rough and gentle. I loved it.

Yet, he is a human. What am I? A star with wings that used to watch him from the sky. Really strange. But thanks to him I realized what it means to be human, thanks to him I have a heart. And I love him.

But our time together was limited, and we knew it. I had to go back, this was not my world. I belonged to the Moon, the beautiful Moon that illuminates the sky every night.

I put all my love in our last night together. I will always remember his desperate kisses, to which I reacted fiercely; a faltering touch, which still felt vulnerable after such a long time. The devastating way that we made love will always be embedded in my mind.  
  
Lord, I did not want to leave, I wanted to stay with him forever. With my Iwa-chan, my Hajime. But I could not, it's not my place, and we both knew it.

I spread my wings, as fast as possible, trying to leave quickly and not have time to regret this. To not to have time to go back and break the rules.

When I returned to the sky and took my place next to the Moon, I looked down at him. Lord, I wanted to reach my hand and wipe those terrible tears. He loves me, I know it, I loved him. But there was no way for us to be together.

  
But I am grateful to the Moon that allowed me, even for a short time to figure out what it means to be human and to love someone. I am grateful to It for giving me the chance. Really. However, the only thing I want now is to go back and wrap him with my wings.

He is my beloved person, my Hajime. I loved him, but the Moon was in need of me. I am happy though that I have one thing from him with me. His heart is now beating wildly in me, whispering to me that he’s waiting. I hope he can take good care of mine.

And someday, surely, somehow, we'll swap them again.

_The leaves are falling,_   
_so are the smiles._   
_I'll always remember_   
_who we were that night._   
  
_Blowing wind,_   
_eyes full of tears,_   
_Up in the sky,_   
_birds fly._   
  
_One's flying away,_   
_but it will be back._   
_Will open its wings,_   
_for an embrace._

**Author's Note:**

> Hii, thank you for reading!! 
> 
> There is a second part to this, Tooru's POV, but I will upload it as a second chapter because there is no point in making a whole collection for something this short. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy my stories! Kudos, comments, and subscribe are greatly appreciated and makes me really happy! 
> 
> If you feel like it, check out my original works in my account. Subscribing will make me love you even more than I already do! <3


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